News that British Gas is ripping its customers with yet another price hike, this time a record-breaking 22%, allows us to reflect once again on the bone-chilling Nonspeak in which these cheery announcements are couched. Some of the extra revenue generated by this megawatt increase has already been spent taking out full-page press ads to explain it, under the headline 'Your questions answered'. This gives BG's customers the opportunity to have their fury assuaged, while customers of rival energy suppliers can wonder whether the paltry extra 15% they are having to stump up might be better spent on an energy company that takes the time to soothe its customers while they are in the middle of reading the news.

The hand-wringing over the need to import wholesale gas, not to mention the restrictive practices of the European gas market, are rather thrown into relief when you notice that BG is going to be charging an extra 22% for electricity too, thus comfortably topping the extra 4.7% EDF Energy is asking for that scarce commodity, or the 8% wanted by Scottish Power.

BG say that they are helping the elderly by offering a winter rebate, which is kind of them, although as this latest gouge is being applied in March, there'll be an awful lot of layout to go before the pensioners get any of it back. The ad goes on to say that you should beware of other companies offering cheap deals, saying that the rates offered may well rise again - a frightful outcome that BG will be only too familiar with, as its customers are about to fork out for their fourth increase in just over two years. January 2004 saw a 6% hike in gas and electricity. They managed to do a little better than that eight months later with 12.4% on gas and 9.4% on electricity. A year later, it was 14.2% on both, and now that awesome, pulse-quickening, even rather sexy 22%. Way to charge, guys! Respect!

What BG's ads don't say - and here something about lights and bushels springs to mind - is that the gas and electricity they are offering comes with the assurance that it is being provided by a company that was once run in the interests of public service only. Theirs isn't just any old gas. It is the Rolls-Royce of gas, done up in ribbons and bows, lovingly piped and assiduously quality-checked before it comes seeping through the burners to warm up your Venetian-style prawn linguine readymeal. And if they need to make a few extra million for their shareholders as it does so, well, who would be churlish enough to deny them? What's more, that direct debit arrangement means you won't even have the pain of writing an inch-thick cheque. They'll just discreetly help themselves from your bank account on a date that's convenient to them.

Those reckless enough to consider going downmarket, meanwhile, will no doubt soon be hurtling in the direction of www.simplyswitch.com, where you can compare prices among a range of suppliers in your area, and perhaps even change to a cheaper one. But then some people have no shame.